Is Masturbation Haram? The reason I'm asking this cuz I have so many friendssome say its haram some say its a natural thing. It keeps you away from bad deeds...

If Someone is Fasting and he gets horny somehow as you know hornism is anatural thing it comes and goes by itself. So doing masturbating while on fasting is it bad or it doesn't matter? some people say it doesn't matter cuz its a natural thing, some say it matters - your fast break if you do the masturbation??

Walaikum assalam,

1. The fiqh regarding masturbation may be found in Related Q&A.

2. The very meaning of Islam is submission: we submit our bodies, hearts, minds, and souls to Allah Most High, out of thankfulness for the blessing and life-giving light of His religion.

Allah tests our slavehood. Many people have 'natural' tendencies and urges towards that which Allah has declared unlawful. This is our test with Allah Most High.

Allah Most High said in the Qur'an,

"And the soul and He who perfected it

And inspired it (with conscience of) what is wrong and right for it.

He is indeed successful who purifies it,

And he is indeed a failure who stunts it." [Qur'an, 91:9-10]

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani.

As for the fast: masturbation that leads to ejaculation invalidates the fast.

Family Life in Islam

In a time when values tend to be turned upside down, family life as the very heart of society was attacked just as much as many other handed-down traditions. About ten years ago, when it become fashionable for young torch-bearers of a "Modernism" to live in "communities", share sex and children and earnings, many people feared that this might mean the end of family life. Fortunately, this is not so. In the end, the overwhelming majority of young women still dream of having a wedding ring on their finger, living in a comfortable flat as "Mrs. So-and-so" and bringing up their children in an orderly home, just as young men prefer to introduce "her" with the words" "This is my wife" instead of "this is my mate or comrade". Neither socialism nor any other "isms" were able to uproot what has been implanted into human nature from time immemorial.

If dangers for family and particularly matrimonial life could be overcome successfully in the West, they were the more unable to gain ground in the Muslim World. There, family life with all its aspects concerning not only husband, wife and children, but all other relatives too, is so firmly established by tradition as well as by religious law that it could not be affected seriously.

The Islamic Approach

Now, one may say that a happy and healthy family life cannot be guaranteed by law. It is true that it depends so much upon the goodwill of all concerned that the best laws remain written phrases where this goodwill is missing. Here, however, as in all other spheres of the Islamic Way of Life, the ruling factor is the fact that Islam is not a religion in the Western sense of the word, but truly THE WAY OF LIFE for those adhering to it. Islam means on the one hand the complete submission to the Will of Allah. And on the other, it is the conscious acceptance of man's vicegerency on earth as ordained by Allah.

Submission to the Will of Allah, if applied to family life, means accepting the desires inherent in man's nature and living up to them, mutual confidence, kindness, self-sacrifice and solace; uncles, aunts and and all other relatives whom one can trust and who may either grant protection or be granted protection; the desire for a peaceful and fostering home; the desire for a good education; the desire for help in the hour of need; and the desire for doing good or receiving good, just as the events may demand.

The conscious acceptance of man's vicegerency on earth means seeking the best possible means for a successful vicegerency. And here again family life provides the most promising basis for our activities. A good and healthy family life grants us the right approach to life, helps us to see matters in the right perspective, gives us the most useful education not only as far as our future profession is concerned but also for the handling of life itself. When we are grown up, it gives us a safe home that enables us to take part in society life to its greatest benefit, and when we become old, it grants us our livelihood just as we used to grant it when we were still able to do so.

To people completely engrossed in the way of life prevailing in the West today, this may sound incredible. Why not leave children in the nursery and depend on their education at school --after all, what a lot of taxes are paid for this purpose? and why feel responsible for relatives in need or old family members since they certainly must be insured against troubles of all sorts and there are homes for old people where they are neither disturbed not can disturb... ? There are so many and much more useful and lucrative things to do instead of looking after children and caring for old or sick family members.

Yet, incredible though it may sound--in the Muslim World these responsibilities are still shouldered by the majority of families. This is due to the Islamic injunctions which have not at all become obsolete in the course of modern techno-industrial developments but are taken quite seriously by Muslims up to this very day. And why is this so? I think it is so because Muslims honestly believe in their accountability for their conduct here on earth on the Day of Resurrection, because they are fully aware of their role as Allah's vicegerents and because they feel contentment in fulfilling their religious duties, thus achieving Allah’s good pleasure which is the main aim of their very existence.

Non-Muslims may wonder how a religion can still exercise such a powerful influence over people in modern times that at least in this sphere Western examples are rather shunned instead of being imitated contrary to the usual trend in most other fields.

Structure of Muslim Family

It is the firm structure of Islamic family life resting on the following four pillars that makes these values so enduring and enables them to outlive Western practices. They are based on Qur'anic regulations and the traditions from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), handed down from generation to generation.

1. Family life as a cradle of human society providing a secure, healthy and encouraging home for parents and the growing children.

2. Family life as guardian of the natural erotic desires of men and women, leading this powerful urge into wholesome channels.

3. Family life as the very breeding-place for human virtues like love, kindness, mercy.

4. Family life as the most secure refuge against inward and outward troubles.

An ever valid and never outgrowing aspect of Islamic family life is, however, that the strength of all the four pillars is made up by the system. And it must not be forgotten, that the benefits of family life are extended not only to blood relations but encompass also the world-wide family of Muslims, the Islamic brotherhood.

Let us look more closely now at each of these four pillars.

http://www.jamaat.org/islam/FamilyIslam.html

And last but not least:

Family Relationships in Islam
Dr. Arafat K. El-Ashi

Islam is a complete way of life. It considers the family the corner stone of Islamic society. It bases the atmosphere in the family on sacrifice, love, loyalty, and obedience. When we say "family" we mean the traditional definition of it namely husband, wife and children. Grandparents are also part of the extended Muslim family.

It may be asked here: how does Islam organize family relationships? To answer this we have to concentrate on: husband wife relationship and parent children relationship. As for husband wife relationship the following verse portrays the right Islamic atmosphere:

"And among his signs is this: He created for you spouses from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy." (30-21)

The Prophet of Islam p.b.u.h. also stressed these meanings when he said: The best among you are those who are best to their families and I am the best of you to my family. He once exclaimed: (it is only the evil one who abuses them (women) and the honored one is he who honors them). Once a man came to the Prophet p.b.u.h. and asked: who is the person who is most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet answered your mother, your mother, your mother then your father. That is why Islam made Paradise under the feet of mothers according to one tradition of the Prophet p.b.u.h.

If we contemplate the Quran we find that it refers to parents children relationships in four main places. Before it asks children to be good and loyal to their parents it requires parents to be extremely careful in upbringing their children. In other words it asks parents to do their duty before asking for their rights.

Let us contemplate the following verses of the Quran: In the chapter called Luqman (No.31) God says:

"And surely We gave Luqman wisdom saying Give thanks unto Allah; for whosoever gives thanks, he gives thanks for his soul. And whoever disbelieves, Allah is All-Independent, Worthy of Praise. And when Luqman said to his son while he was exhorting him: O my dear son! Ascribe no partners unto Allah. Lo! To ascribe partners (unto Him) is a tremendous wrong. And we have enjoined upon man to be careful of his parents, His mother bears him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years, so give thanks to Me and to your parents, for unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with you to make you ascribe to Me as partner that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but deal with them nicely in the world and follow the path of him who repents to Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you of what you used to do."

The Quran then continues:

"O my son! Lo! Though it be but the weight of a grain of mustard seed, and though it be in a rock, or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. For Allah is Subtle, Aware. O my son! Establish prayer, enjoin goodness, forbid iniquity and bear with patience whatever may befall you. For that is the steadfast heart of things. Turn not your cheek in scorn towards people, nor walk the earth with pretenses, for Allah loves not each braggart boaster. Be modest in your bearing and subdue your voice for Lo! The harshest of all voices is the voice of the ass" (31: 12-19).

These verses provide Muslim parents with the way they should bring up their children, unless they do so, they can expect rebellion and hatred from them; but the devoted parents have full right to what the following verses from chapter 17 enjoin. In this chapter called the Night Journey Allah (S.W.T) says:

"Your Lord has decreed that you worship non but Him, and that (you show) kindness to parents. Should one or both of them attain to old age with you, Say not "Fie'' unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little. Your Lord is best aware of what is in yourselves. If you are righteous, then Lo! He was ever forgiving unto those who turn unto Him" (17: 23-25).

These are the two main chapters of the Quran that decide and clearly depict the Islamic relationship between parents and their children. It is a relationship based as we see on belief in Allah (S.W.T), and feeling that He observes all what we do and that we are accountable to Him even in the bad breath that we may release against our parents when we are angry. Even this has to be controlled.

Let us remember, however, that it is only parents who do their duty, who deserve this honorable treatment of their children. That is why when a parent came to the Prophet p.b.u.h. and complained to him about the ingratitude of his son, the son said: He was ungrateful to me O Messenger of Allah, before I showed ingratitude to him. So the Prophet p.b.u.h. did not blame the son but disliked the attitude of his parent. This is a message to all parents.

The third place in the Holy Quran that refers to parents-children relationship is in chapter 46 called Al Ahqaf where Allah (S.W.T) says:

"And we have enjoined unto man kindness toward parents. His mother bears him with reluctance and delivers him with reluctance. His bearing and weaning are thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Arouse me that I may give thanks for the favour where with you have favoured me and my parents, and I may do right acceptable unto you. And be gracious unto me concerning my seed. I have turned unto you repentant and Lo! I am one of Muslims."

Concerning this type of children the Quran has the following comment: those are they from whom We accept the best of what they do, and We overlook their evil deeds among the owners of Paradise. This is the true promise, which they used to be promised (in the world).

The Quran then turns to the other category of children who are disbelievers and are as a result ungrateful to their parents. It declares:

"As for him who said to his parents: Fie upon you both! Do you threaten me that I shall be brought forth when generations before me have passed away! While they too cry unto Allah for help and say: Woe unto you! Believe! Lo! The promise of Allah is true. But he said: This is nothing but fables of the men of old."

Commenting on this attitude Allah (S.W.T) says:

"Such are those whom the Word concerning nations of Jinn and mankind which have passed away before has effect. Lo! They are the losers. And for each there will be degrees due to what they did; and He may recompense them in full for their deeds! And they will not be wronged." (46: 15-19).

The forth and last place in the Quran that refers to parents children relationship is what is mentioned briefly in chapter 29 that says:

"We have enjoined on man kindness to parents. And should they strive to make you join with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do". (29:8).

This verse refers mainly to the unbelieving parents who still have the rights of obedience on their Muslim children unless they ask them to rebel against Allah (S.W.T). In this case they should not be obeyed, but doing good to them should continue regardless of the difference of religion.

In conclusion since the family is the corner stone of society, happiness and prosperity will only be achieved if parents as well as children are committed to the guidance of the Quran, the only guidance proved to be successful.

For in that case all will fulfill their duties and rights in the most satisfactory manner as we have seen earlier.

 
http://www.crescentlife.com/family%20matters/family_relationships_in_islam.htm

The reason there is not so much mingling amongst the sexes is because we feel it is very easy for someone to commit adultry or something unpleasant in the eyes of Allah (Allah does not literally have eyes), or anything else. Also we see it as very disrespectful for a man and a woman who do not know each other, or even if they do know each other to shake each others hands. Its like the rather be safe than sorry deal, we'd rather be safe by not inter mingling than to be sorry by doing so. Although its not like we are 100% limited, we can talk to each other and everything but as long as it isn't nasty talk or something that goes against the religion of Islam. Although, if it's your family member like your cousin or your mother or sister or brothers, they can hug and kiss each other on the cheeks and all that stuff no problem but its different with others. We all just want whats best for us under the eyes of Allah so that way we can make it to Jannah (Eternal heaven) instead of jahenum (eternal hellfires). There is so much more to this topic if you have any more questions please feel free to ask, and thanks for responding to my initial message. Salam (Peace).